THE AVENGERS DVD WILL INCLUDE A GAG REEL.
I’m pretty sure they’ll all be flawless.
AAAAAHHHHHH
But I do get inspired by people who seem to really live the example that their trying to set. There are several people in my life who have been that kind of example. When I was nine I had a lot of paper routes…..On one of my paper routes was this guy Mr. H who owned the radio station in town. And one day when I was collecting payment at the end of the week, Mr. H came out and introduced himself to me and my younger brother was coming along with me. And for some reason we chatted for a minute and he somehow learned we didn’t live with my father that I was being raised by a single mother. And he had this sort of ached look on his face. He’s an old man, he’s about 70 at that point and the reason he had that sort of down trotted look was because he had for a long time been a surrogate father to a lot of young boys who didn’t have dads around. Um and he’d given it up, because it had been too much work for him, but then he saw us and was like, “Uh, I have to do this again don’t I?” And then he was so unbelievably sweet and generous with us. He tried to teach us Chinese; we’d go over to his little workshop couple times a week and he taught us how to wire electric motors and how to make little balsa wood boats. He would take us out to eat at restaurants which we didn’t have money for with our mom, so it was always this really special treat for us. It was just such a generous and meaningful act. He never asked for anything in return. We moved to another county we didn’t see him much for about a year and stopped by to give him some Christmas presents. His wife came to the door and he had passed away…but it was such a generous act to basically a stranger. So I took inspiration from him and he served as a grandfather to us for several years. I like stuff like that.[x]
#if you haven’t seen this movie #DO IT NOW #DO IT #GO #NOW #IT’S LIKE IF DOCTOR WHO HAD A BABY WITH THE MUPPETS #AND THE RESULTING CHILDREN WERE ALL ON ACID
UPSIDE INSIDE OUT
HE’S LIVIN LA VIDA LOKI
HE’LL PUSH AND PULL YOU DOWN
HE’S LIVIN LA VIDA LOKI
HIS HELMET’S NICE AND BIG
AND ITS HORNS ARE LONG AND POKEY
HE WILL WEAR THOR OUT
HE’S LIVIN LA VIDA LOKI
This is the best thing I’ve seen all day!!!
OH MY GOD WHAT EVEN IS THAT POST WHY AM I SCREAMING
I JUST IMPLODED OH MY GOD
choking not breathing send halp.
thor. bebe. come here.
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
-----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
-----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
-----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
-----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
-----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
-----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
-----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
-----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
-----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
-----
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
-----
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
-----
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
-----
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
-----
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
-----
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
-----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
-----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
-----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
-----
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
-----
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
-----
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
-----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
-----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
-----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
